My DeviantART Story: A Journey of 9 DeviantYears

Aug 11, 201425 min read

Deviation Actions

Published: Aug 11, 2014

3.5K Views

Ok, so it's not exactly nine years yet, but at the end of this year it will be! And that's a long time time, if you stop to think about it, so I'm stopping to think about it to reflect on this nine-year journey through dA, seeing as 9 is such a lovely number.

I joined this site at the tail-end of 2005, back when I was in highschool and I thought winesoaked-roses would make the most awesome username...it didn't, so I'm not that anymore (thank goodness dA added the ability to change one's username, because I think having the username is why I took a speckled 2-year-on-off hiatus a few years ago; why would I think wine-soaked roses are lovely? I guess they kind of sound so, but having tasted wine several years back, I can't imagine roses would be good to eat with that)...

Anyway.

I don't remember exactly how I stumbled upon the site but I think it was purely by accident. It was back in the days when Xanga was a thing (gosh, it makes me feel really old to reference that blogging site) and I happened across a person who had a link to their dA page. After clicking that link, I thought it seemed it might be fun to join, especially since I'd been using my Xanga as a photo/art blog, mainly posting awful snapshots of nature walks and highschool adventures, oh, and some Photoshop experiments from when I was first starting out with the program.

Speaking of Photoshop, I think that's the first thing the dA community has helped me with: techniques and methods for using Photoshop. I think I may have only gone through two or three tutorials, but the rest was reading the editing processes of photographers and photomanipulators in their deviation descriptions. And I remember people being quite friendly and answering questions I left on their deviations. dA was still a large community, but quite a bit smaller when I first started out, so maybe that's why I'm still meticulous in trying to thank everyone for all comments, +favorites and +watches, even though I've found that my efforts are starting to bewilder many people, which bewilders me, because I think it'd be rude of me to not say "thanks" in the slightest.

But I digress.

The point is, dA started me off with a lot of resources and helped me self-teach myself Photoshop (and I started on PS 7, so let me tell you I'm suuuper happy Adobe has made such strides in growing as well). It was through the resource section of dA that I discovered the beautiful assistance of the stock & resources world. Lovely items such as:

Mechanical Masquerade-Green043 by TrapDoor-Stock

Danielle Pink Ballerina 29 by FantasyStock

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Seeing such beautiful resources, given generously by artists for other artists to use as practice and art materials, inspired me to provide resources for dA as well. So I made a stock art account shortly after my main one, starting under the name blacksockstock, which made absolutely no sense because I'm fairly certain I've never created stock photos with black socks before; I just like how the sounds rolled off on my brain-tongue. So now it's just sophiaastock where I post resource photos for dA artists:

Through both of my dA parts, I've "met" a lot of cool people:

I would like to meet you guys in person too someday. I would like to collaborate "Sir Muffin and Lady Cupcake" with AliceTerrarium more easily (when there's not a rather large pond between us), see MoOnshine90 make awesome art in person and try to have her talent rub off on me, have in-depth and provocative conversations with NicoleKeller over cups of tea and coffee instead of over the Internet, and thank in person Shadowdanc3r for supporting my first art show and InnerDemons for teaching me how to raise little snail pets (of which I was very successful, because at some point I happened to have nearly 100 translucent snail babies in my fish tank...)

I would also like to meet these awesome people sometime:

Because you guys seem to always be in my inbox, even when I post pieces where I'm thinking "...crap, I don't know how I feel about this piece anymore, but I guess I'll post it anyway and maybe something good will come of it." You guys always find there's something good in pretty much anything I make, and you really have no idea just how incredibly encouraging and great you make me feel. It's a huge reason of why I still share my art instead of hiding it all away. ...I also just want to meet you guys huge hugs like this:

So I showcased only my digital photography and my visual art for a long time, but I also, unbeknownst to many of the few people that generously follow me, at least for some time, and certainly unbeknownst to my in-person friends whom I'd shared my sophiaazhou account with, draw and write. Maybe not as much, but it's something that can't be ignored. So my third and last piece on dA is adalaine, the only username that never changed.

I saw pieces of quirky and "strange" drawn talent like:

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And I read moving, inspirational literature such as:

as-opposed-to-the-staticI call my friends "frontstabbers" because I'm always looking back.
My lazy eyes and complacent heart
take the wheel from bewildered cerebrum.
Interrogation proves it all,
that what "seems" isn't necessarily truth on the
tongues of the convicted.
                                                                  ( Is it physical?
                                                                       or Is it verbal? )
Guilty until proven dead-to-you.
There's nothing I can apologize for
that I haven't already confessed through hoarse throat
and broken-up sentences.
but this, I have no business in saying?
All signs point to adultery.
(Open up, come on out, game's over, I've been had)
You've beaten me at my own twisted way of thinking.
In my heart-of-hearts, urgency speaks to spill.
Nowhere in my nonsensical rambling do the words-
"I can go on without you," seep through clenched teeth.
Forever doesn't seem to carry on with this one at my side,
nor does beauty seem to e i am falling with youi.
there is no need in this, only want.
ii.
i fear for my safety, and you know this.
i don’t know if i should be disturbed by your telling me that you would kill them if they ever hurt me, and yet you are nearly a man too.  i am disturbed by how far i let you in and i am glad you can’t see how you are the one who could hurt me most of all, and
only the trust i have in you will prevent that eventuality.
iii.
i have always been an obstinate creature.  my mother spent years telling everyone who asked how i spent days clinging to the inside of her womb, unwilling to come out with the rose-tinted, nostalgic wisdom of infants.  maybe it was obduracy.  maybe it was fear.
you are the only one who could undecide me, and you have.  and i am.
iv.
you watch me open the door to you in my dressing gown, warm from the water of recent showers.  are you sick? you ask, taking me in as i let you in, because you know i only ever On Love, In DistanceDear Eve,
I wish I could blame this on alcohol. I wish I could blame this on drugs. I wish I could blame this on the media and violent videogames and ignorant music like what your little brother listens to.
And I don’t know how seriously you take my words,
But the truth is I can only blame you and me (“us” I guess it could be called) for what we say and do and dance to and steal. Thick as thieves. In the thick of it. Thick skulled.
I think there would be no question about feelings if I spent even a minute more at your side on the couch, maybe just watching the news, the dog on his bed snoring tragic, paper-thin dreams of car chases and digging up the dead cat you buried last July and rabbits who are just a little too fast.
I roll the idea of you around in my head, tumbling bells in a shiny tin can; you sing metallic between my ears for days on days and never once chime out of key.
I guess what I’m saying is maybe I miss you, maybe I love you. I don’t know…

So I wanted to draw again, and I wanted to write again, but I wanted to hide things from my in-person friends because I had no idea how I would ever explain things like this:

But seeing as I now know I could never find a way to explain that, I've since then learned that I'm just weird and there's no use concealing parts of you from people because the ones that are worth knowing have strange parts too but that's all just normal anyway...also read as "it's just too much effort otherwise so I got tired and don't care about it anymore - which is why you can now find things like this in my main gallery:

Mature Content

beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder. by sophiaazhou

But anyway, when college began I spent all my creative power on architecture projects and concepts, my visual art diminished significantly and I turned to literature, especially poetry, instead. And I think one of the best things in my dA experience was discovering the literary side of it, because I found that even if I write emotional, dark, obscure messes, there are still some people who will find beauty in my ugliness. And I think it's probably finding that first step of acceptance through the anonymity of the Internet that I'm far more comfortable with me as a whole person today.

So, I would like to meet these wonderful literary souls one day:

To tell them thanks in person, for helping me more than I or they could've known. ...and we can do this:

...and I realize they might find it strange to have a shout-out in this journal because there's not been much crossover between sophiaazhou and adalaine until very, very recently...pretty much now. >__> ...Surprise!

And that's pretty much my story on DeviantART...oh, other than starting a small group at TheWallflowerGarden to collect beautiful under-appreciated creativity. Oh, and the stuff with Carmalain7 whom I would've never met, online and in person, if not for dA's literary side, but that's another story unto itself and I don't know how I would go about describing it anyway, though there's some writing that attests to the fact that I've tried. So just

to you because I can't remember how to send you a rainbow bouncing sheep, and I'll leave you all with this field of beautiful inspiration:

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